Breathe Again
by sunshinexxohh
Summary: Oneshot songfic to Jimmy Robbins' Breathe Again. Casey's life is spiraling downward dangerously. Can Derek save her? Will Casey breathe again, or will she end it all? Possible oneshot sequel to another Jimmy Robbins song if I get good feedback. DASEY!


**This is a oneshot songfic to the amazing song Breathe Again by Jimmy Robbins. If you haven't heard of him, you are seriously missing out. His songs are meaningful and beautiful. You should go listen, because they are fantastic songs.**

**Anyway, this is going to be about Derek and Casey, a Dasey! I really think you'll enjoy it.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song, the characters, or the show.**

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_**She's got this journal filled  
With all her black ink guilt  
And love is the only thing keeping her alive  
She's got her mind made up  
That all she needs is love  
Her heart is the only thing helping her decide  
To breathe again, to breathe again**  
_

_**And when she's tired she doesn't sleep  
A week since I've seen her eat  
She's skin and bones, she's beautiful  
No matter what  
I wish I could help her see  
She means the world to me  
But the world, it doesn't mean much to her**_

_**She's got this journal filled  
With all her black ink guilt  
And love is the only thing keeping her alive  
She's got her mind made up  
That all she needs is love  
Her heart is the only thing helping her decide  
To breathe again, to breathe again**_

_**I'll be there to split your lips  
Like when the ice berg hits  
And the ship has to break apart  
Show its teeth and smile**  
_

_**She's got this journal filled  
With all her black ink guilt  
And love is the only thing keeping her alive  
She's got her mind made up  
That all she needs is love  
And she'll breathe again  
And she'll breathe again  
And she'll breathe again  
She'll breathe again, again**_

_**--Jimmy Robbins--  
--Breathe Again--**_

Derek watched Casey silently from his spot on the stairs. He sat there for almost an hour, staring at her as her pen scratched against her journal in a sort of hypnotic rhythm. Casey was on the couch, her bare, bony feet resting on the arm. She hadn't realized that Derek was watching her. Tears streamed down her face as she wrote, pausing occasionally to wipe her eyes on her sleeve.

After about an hour and a half of Casey writing while Derek watched unnoticed, Casey closed her journal and stared at the wall. Derek couldn't believe how much Casey had changed since he first met her. No longer did her blue eyes sparkle when she spoke. Her skin was pale, almost translucent. Her bones stuck out everywhere. She was skinny and fragile looking. A smile barely ever appeared on her sunken face anymore. But still, Derek found her beautiful, even if she was just skin and bones.

Casey stood up, her hip bones painfully obvious as she walked slowly into the bathroom off the kitchen. The door closed and a few moments later, Derek winced as he heard the horrible sounds of Casey making herself sick. Derek shook his head and went upstairs. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her eat. And now, with her making herself throw up every day, Derek was amazed she had enough strength to even move.

Derek stood in the hallway waiting for Casey to come upstairs. He needed to talk to her. He needed to make this stop. Finally, he heard the stairs creaking. Derek stayed in the shadows of the dark hallway. He reached out and grabbed her wrist as she was about to pass. Derek almost let go when he felt how tiny her wrist was. Casey pulled back and Derek dropped her wrist, afraid he might hurt her tiny body if he didn't.

Casey's lifeless eyes stared at him questioningly. "What do you want, Derek?" she whispered, pulling her sweater tighter around her small body. It was the sweater Nora had bought her for her birthday last year. It had fit perfectly. Now, it looked like it was too big.

"What do you write in that journal every day?" Derek asked. It wasn't what he had intended on asking, but he just had to know. He watched her face as she looked surprised. Her eyes darted away from his, trying to conceal everything she was feeling. Derek reached for her, but Casey took a step back. Casey wouldn't look him in the eye, but Derek knew she was on the verge of tears.

"Casey. You are hurting yourself. You don't eat, and then you make yourself sick anyway? Why? Why do this to yourself?" Derek asked, reaching for her again. She pulled away again, but she couldn't stop the tears from falling. Derek felt something inside him break, like seeing Casey like this made him feel like he was hurting himself too.

Casey's hair fell from behind her ears and curtained her face from his. "Derek, I don't know why you care so much," she said in a whisper.

"You mean the world to me, Case. I thought you knew that," Derek grabbed her hand and held it tightly in his.

"The world doesn't mean so much to me anymore," Casey said quietly. She let go of his hand and walked to her bedroom, shutting the door quietly so she wouldn't wake the rest of the family that was actually home.

Derek stood in the hallway, staring after her long after she had left. Derek shook his head and went into his room. He tried to think of everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Well, the obvious thing was the day Derek kissed her. It seemed so long ago, because Casey was still healthy and relatively happy.

_"Derek!? What was that for?" Casey yelled, jumping away from him. "You just -- you just kissed me!" Casey folded her arms across her chest. _

_Derek looked completely shocked with himself. "Yeah... I know. I'm sorry Casey, but I had to do it. I can't imagine another second with out you. You mean the world to me."_

_"Yeah, well... Derek, I'm still with Max. And thanks to you, I just cheated on him!" Casey's hand flew to her lips, touching where Derek's lips had been only seconds before. _

_"Sorry, Casey. I really am. I know how you feel about Max. I just..." Derek struggled to find the words to explain why he just did what he did. He could find no others besides those three words he knew Casey didn't want to hear._

Two days after the little 'incident', Max broke up with Casey. Derek couldn't keep himself from smiling. It was what he had wanted ever since he realized his feelings for her, but at the same time, he didn't want Casey to be unhappy.

_"What happened?" Derek asked, joining Casey on her bed. She sat surrounded by used tissues and a box of half eaten chocolate._

_Casey struggled to get a breath in. "Max broke up with me. He said he likes someone else better. Can you believe he said that? Even if it's true, you don't just say it!"_

_Derek put his arm around Casey and she rested her head on his shoulder. "Casey, let me tell you: Max is an idiot. There is no girl in this world better than you."_

_"Do you really mean that?" Casey sniffed. A tear drop fell onto Derek's sleeve. Casey reached over to wipe it away, but Derek grabbed her hand and held it._

_"I really do. You should know that, Casey. You mean the world to me," Derek whispered. Casey looked into his eyes, and she must have been satisfied by that answer. She lay her head back on Derek's shoulder and listened to his heart beat.  
_

Derek stared at his dark ceiling, wondering what would have been different if he hadn't kissed her that night. Maybe nothing would change, but then again, maybe something would have. One thing he knew for sure: him kissing Casey had no effect on what Casey probably felt the worst about. Lizzie.

_"Casey, there is nothing you could have done! None of us knew what was going on with Lizzie. A brain tumor isn't something we ever expected her to have!" Nora tried to convince Casey, reaching out to hold her hand._

_Casey pulled away. "She's my little sister! I should have seen that something was wrong with her! I should have realized that she wasn't being herself..." Casey's eyes filled with tears as she punched the wall. Derek looked into Casey's half-open door, wishing he could just go in and hug her or something. _

And it was true. No one knew that Lizzie had a brain tumor. Nora took her in for a check up one day, and there it was, plain for the doctor to diagnose. Derek knew Casey felt responsible. She had been too wrapped up in her breakup with Max to even notice her sister's health.

But still, Derek thought, Casey shouldn't feel like everything was her fault. Everything that goes wrong in this world isn't the fault of one teenage girl. She shouldn't flatter herself, Derek thought, suppressing a grin. Derek finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning Derek woke early. He knew by the unusual quietness of the house that everyone was still asleep. George and Nora had slept at the hospital with Lizzie, but Derek and Casey had been put in charge of staying home with Edwin and Marti. Edwin had put up quite a fight. He wanted to be by Lizzie's side at every second since she was diagnosed.

He pulled on some clean clothes and approached Casey's room. The door creaked slightly as he pushed it open, but she didn't stir. There she was, sleeping on her back. Derek couldn't help but notice how pale she was. Her skin was so white, it nearly blended in with her sheets.

Derek stepped into the room. Something isn't right, he thought. He moved closer to the bed... she was barely breathing. Derek's heart began to race.

"Somebody help!" Derek screamed, running toward the door. "Somebody help her!" A moment later, Edwin emerged from his bedroom rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Derek, what's the matter?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

Derek pushed past him to get his phone. His fingers trembled as he dialed 911.

LWD.LWD.LWD.LWD.LWD.LWD.

"She weakened her body by not eating and forcing herself to throw up," the doctor explained. Nora struggled to fight off tears as George gripped her hand firmly. "It's lucky this young man found her as early as he did. She was pretty close to not making it."

Derek stared through the huge glass window into Casey's hospital room. She, once again, was sleeping, but she looked somewhat better. The doctors had forced her to eat and some of her color came back.

"Now, as for your other daughter," the doctor spoke again, pulling Derek's thoughts away from Casey and onto his other step sister, "She'll need surgery. We'll try to remove the tumor, but it isn't always successful."

Nora gasped and George's face looked pained. "Thank you doctor. Can we see either of them?"

"I think it's best if you let Casey sleep for now. Lizzie, on the other hand, is awake and she'll be wanting to see you. Now may be a good time to let her know about the surgery. I'm sure you will reassure her that everything is okay with her sister. She was quite worried when she found out from one of the nurses that Casey had been brought in." The doctor gave a sad nod and walked away.

"I'm going to go see Lizzie," George said quietly. He stood up, still holding Nora's hand. Nora let go and shook her head.

"I'll be there in a minute, George. I'd like to speak with Derek."

This took Derek by surprise. He followed Nora's gesture into the waiting room down the hall. She rummaged through her purse and pulled out a small book. It was Casey's journal. Derek looked apprehensive. Nora held it out to him.

"Derek, I think you should read this. When George went back to pick Edwin and Lizzie up after the ambulance took you and Casey here, he found this laying on the coffee table. Read it," she repeated, pressing it into his hands firmly.

Derek swallowed hard and opened the cover. Nora flipped to the last few pages. It was filled with Casey's dark, thick handwriting. He noticed the black ink was smudged with tears in a few places.

_**I thought about finishing it all yesterday. I had the pills ready, I was ready in my mind. I took in everything for the last time, how Max broke up with me for Emily. Emily, of all people. How I hadn't realized what was wrong with Lizzie. I can't believe I was too wrapped up in my stupid breakup to see how different Lizzie was acting. Now if she... if she doesn't make it, it will be all my fault. It's best for me to end it now and not wait around for the outcome. God, that sounds horrible. And then, Derek popped into my mind, just out of the blue. I remembered what he said that night he kissed me. 'I can't imagine another second with out you. You mean the world to me.' I put the pills back in the bottle. I unlocked the bathroom door and went into Derek's room. He was asleep. I leaned down and kissed his cheek. I told him thank you for saving me.**_

A million things ran through Derek's mind. Nora now knew how he felt about his step sister. He felt embarrassed about it... he loved his step sister as more than a step sister. And then he thought about what Casey had mentioned about going into his room and kissing him. Derek thought back. He had, in fact, thought he felt something like that during the night, but he had written it off as a dream.

Unexpectedly, Nora began crying and pulled Derek into a hug. They held each other for a moment. Nora let go and stared up into Derek's eyes. "Derek, thank you. Because of you, I know that at least one of my daughters will breathe again."

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**Did ya like it? I was almost crying by the end of this. Oh my... Well, I have a sequel planned. If, and only if, I get good feedback telling me they want another one... It will be another one-shot songfic.**

**Thanks for reading :D**

**Much love,  
Wish**


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